A Meeting, a Hearing, and a Dinner Engagement
My new firm is no different from my old firm in that no good deed goes unpunished. My boss recently "rewarded" me for the jury exercise work by inviting me on a 24 hour business trip to San Francisco for a meeting, a hearing, and a "dinner engagement." I suppose some people would find a trip to San Francisco for a meeting, a hearing, and a "dinner engagement" exotic, but careful readers will recall that in 2001-2002 I spent a week a month in San Francisco for a year or so -- the luster has long since faded for me.
In any event, spending 10 of a 24 hour period in an airplane, and another 10 of that same 24 hour period in a meeting, a hearing, and a "dinner engagement" is not exactly a restful reward for a job well done. But of course, I said I "oh of course, I would just love to go! super! thanks!"
Flight out from Dulles to SFO was bleak. Large smelly man sat next to me, battled strong head winds so flight was longer than usual, no channel 9. Six and a half hours later we land. Nothing much had changed at SFO since I'd last been there except that they finally got rid of that horrible Crab Pot restaurant in the United terminal and replaced it with a trendy Asian fusion health spot. Hallelujah.
Made straight away for the Four Seasons, where we have a firm rate which makes it probably the cheapest hotel in town for me. Unfortunately, I really don't like the Four Seasons in San Francisco. For one thing, it is hard to find the check-in desk; one must ask several different people the way and walk up a flight of stairs and take an elevator. The staff speaks too softly; one can barely hear them. It is a known scientific fact that if a person cannot hear someone else, he or she will start to screech at the quiet talker in an effort, perhaps, to demonstrate how loud one might consider talking in order to be heard. I frequently found myself hollering at some hapless Four Seasons employee simply because I couldn't hear him. And then I felt like a jerk for standing in the lobby of an allegedly fancy hotel, essentially yelling at the staff.
Then it was time for the meeting, the hearing, and the "dinner engagement." Meeting was interesting mainly because it was with the steering committee of the 1000+ plaintiffs who took our client's life-saving, miracle drug. If plaintiffs lawyers are from Mars, pharmaceutical defense lawyers are from Venus. The steering committee, as expected, asked us to agree to a set of ludicrous demands; we, also as expected, said absolutely not! Outrageous! Then we all went off to the hearing at which many many many more plaintiffs lawyers showed up. We had about 10 lawyers total on our side -- the plaintiff's counsel table, the entire jury box, and 90 percent of the gallery were filled up with plaintiffs lawyers.
After the hearing it began to pour with rain and we had about an hour to kill before our "dinner engagement." We retired to the lounge of the Four Seasons were we tried fruitlessly to get a drink from the mute staff who were now apparently deaf as well. After half an hour of waving wildly at the elegant waiters, we got our drinks and a plate carrying two grapes and three razor-thin slices of a brie-like cheese, sans cracker. Disappointing. Then we start trying to convince the Four Seasons to call the house car to take us to our dinner engagement -- that finally worked but when we got to our destination, the house car claimed it could not pick us up again at the appointed time. Why not? My boss wanted to know. A lengthy negotiation ensued -- more difficult than the meeting with the plaintiffs steering committee -- and at the end the house car driver refused to budge. My boss and I walk into the building and she turns to me, frustrated, and said, "why couldn't he just have said yes?"
The "dinner engagement" was really a 3 hour long focus group session to be a run by a political polling firm. The pollster gathered a group of potential SF area jurors to see what they thought of our client and its life-saving miracle drug. We sat behind the one way mirrors and watched, eating dim sum and M&Ms and drinking red wine. We had an excellent time because as it turns out, these potential jurors simply adored our client and its life-saving, miracle drug, unlike those whackos in New York.
The only weird thing was watching the people in the front row. To my boss and me, it looked as if they could see us through the glass. It turned out that they didn't know it was a one-way mirror. Several of them spent a lot of time gazing admiringly at their own reflections. Two of them in particular would look lovingly at themselves after making what they clearly thought was an exceptionally pithy point. Every now and then they would run their fingers through their hair, or adjust their clothing, all the time staring into the mirror. They seemed oblivious to the people around them. Grown men, one of them an ex-Marine.
Bizarre.The next day I had a few hours to kill before heading back East. I went to SF MOMA with the thought that I would take in some culture. But as soon as I got there I realized that I really have never liked the permanent exhibits at SF MOMA (I prefer American Realism), and the Calder visiting exhibit left me totally cold. So instead I went to the museum store and bought a book called "How to Draw a Tree."
I practiced on the airplane all the way home.
posted by Anonymous @ 3:22 PM
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